my colleague
gave me a book
And the best part? He wrote it.
If you know me, you know books are one of my love languages,
so this was rather touching.
I just wanted to take a second and share some takeaways from Luis' words.
The learnings start from the very origin of this book
A friend had asked him decades ago, "What are the five most important things to learn in life?"
The reason this is relevant is because the messenger is the message.
Luis just happens to be the kind of messenger you want to pay attention to.
It's not often you come across people who are unbounded by things like fear, money, language, distance, sickness... any obstacle you can possibly think of. Some people are just built different.
Insurmountable spirits. I've come across only a handful of those.
Luckily a few are in my life, every day.
Another reason why we should listen to these people is because to them, a question like this is important.
Some hold learning in high regard. They think about the world, people, and themselves deeply.
Let’s make it a habit to learn from these folks, take it to heart, and enjoy while doing so.
But before I get started and share what I learned, I want to discuss why we learn.
"We must learn because we are imperfect beings on a mission of perfection."
I am not implying that you are imperfect, nor am I implying that I am imperfect.
Considering some bias from my childhood here: As children of God, we are Gods ourselves. As a reminder, yes we have the infinite within ourselves and hence God within ourselves, yet all our lives we desire to be "closer" to the holiness we come carrying within.
The world does not tolerate a being that does not exercise this holiness. One that ignores the wisdom around us and makes no effort to learn and teach is discarded. This is a condition that the world does not accept.
I exist, and I have a desire to express myself and hence this holiness. This desire naturally leads me on a mission, of perfection, and the end of this desire is perfection.
That is our mission.
Now, onto what I learned:
1. Accepting Responsibility
Taking rather than accepting are two very different ideas.
Taking implies the act of forcefully seizing, whereas accepting is a humble surrender (a non-refusal) of something that the world offers to you.
This subtlety makes a large difference in how we approach our lives.
Seeking and embracing our responsibilities is quite blissful. And it just happens to be that when we take responsibility for the small things and embrace our role in the small matters, the world and the people around us notice. They entrust us with much larger responsibilities. This is what it means to embrace roles.
The second part to this is understanding your role in any given moment.
Learning how to find your role in any given moment is a challenge.
Solely being focused on your end goals takes away from being fully invested in your moment now.
In life, with the thousands of tasks we must do, only a very select few of them align with our self-centered desires. That does not mean we choose to not encounter the rest of life.
And this is where my last write-up comes into play: use discernment.
Have the ability to understand what action is needed given several possibilities.
Continue to practice this muscle. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from making mistakes.
2. Accepting Help
Learning to accept help seems like such a simple thing to learn, but we give it up as we get older.
Help is one of those things that is very hard for us to accept.
Somehow our brain tricks us into thinking that it is a sign of weakness.
Anytime we ask for help, we feel that somehow we are not fit to be in whatever situation we find ourselves in.
However, help is:
- An opportunity to excel in what we are doing rather than "just getting by"
- An opportunity to meet someone new
- An opportunity to influence people. "If you wish to influence people, you must first let them influence you." As humans, when we have a stake in something, we are more susceptible to giving that thing a chance.
- An opportunity to see beyond our own capabilities
Our biggest assets are the people around us, all 7 billion of them, completely free of charge.
Asking for help should be our biggest strength, not our biggest weakness.
3. Communication
Being able to talk with someone is only the tip of the iceberg.
Though a great skill to have, communication is far greater than that.
Some ways include speech, writing, listening, and manners. Each is more important than the other.
Go and learn all of these. Figure out which ones have the most value to you.
Alone, we can do nothing, and the only way that we can associate with each other is by communicating.
And sometimes, laughter is the most effective way to communicate. No language, no customs necessary. This one is quite universal.
4. Laughter
Natural laughter.
As kids we had so much more fun because we invested ourselves into everything that we did.
We were never worried about what was next, so much so we’d forget natural responses like hunger.
As we get older, we can practice investing ourselves in our responsibilities and problems.
So at the very least, there’s no excuse for not laughing.
Laughter is so incredibly contagious.
Learn to laugh unassisted.
Just don’t confuse laughing more with laughing at your responsibilities. That should be avoided.
Rather, learn to invest yourself into your responsibilities first, and then laughter will be natural.
5. The Tranquility of Reflection
In life, more times than not it’s easier to make the impulsive decision.
And not thinking about the decision after you’ve made it is that much easier.
Not thinking is the easiest way to go through life and forget you’ve gone through it at the same time.
A constant in my life that I’ve heard is, “You’ve lived and been through so much.”
I think it’s not because I’ve lived more or gone through more.
I think I’ve given versions of myself the benefit of reflection.
Reflection is the binding force to all the previous four things.
This was a bit lengthy, but intentionally so.
I wholeheartedly agree with the things Luis shared here.
And having asked him for help, letting him influence me, I too can influence him.
Or at the very least, laugh with him.
We all are surrounded by Luis'
Seek them out, let them find you.